


see the text, reply

by kthkng (pipergrace2015)



Series: #squad who up [1]
Category: Voltron: Legendary Defender
Genre: Alternate Universe - Modern Setting, F/M, Fun And Cool Texting Fic, M/M, SORRY YALL, have some cool memes? send them over, idk it's just teens being teens, preparing for the Real Story, rated t for swearing i guess, semi (or not so semi) hiatus, this is just filled with memes i took from my tumblr dash, title from one dance by drake
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2016-10-13
Updated: 2016-10-23
Packaged: 2018-08-22 07:15:52
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 4
Words: 5,643
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/8277370
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/pipergrace2015/pseuds/kthkng
Summary: thank god there was a ten character limit on the display names, because lance's name was 'large assh' instead of 'large hairy asshole'imagine having to read the words large hairy asshole every time lance sent a text





	1. the New copypasta

**Author's Note:**

> chapter one is dedicated to tungle user tj nymas... may these copypastas live on forever
> 
> large assh: lance  
> We Are All: hunk  
> bottom txt: pidge  
> aua (uwu): allura  
> ko: keith  
> ro: shiro  
> cornman: coran

[main chat]

**large assh:** YALL WOULD NOT BELIEVE

**large assh:** WHAT SOME ANON JUST SENT MY SIDEBLOG

**large assh:** Fuck you. Stop excluding people just because you cant accept a loving relationship when it conflicts with your own precious kylarry (abusive.) I hope you realize just how horrible you are being. Creating a chat to complain about shippers you should be ashamed. You need to calm down

**We Are All:** as if kylarry could ever be abusive

**bottom txt:** that’s, frankly, hilarious

**large assh:** rigHT??? RIGHT????

**bottom txt:** also stop bothering me i’m studying

**large assh:** “studying” lol

**large assh:** sounds fake but ok

**bottom txt:** hey fuk u

**bottom txt:** look at all these notes im reviewing

**bottom txt:** [deathnotes.png](//)

**We Are All:** haha “death notes” i get it that’s funny

**bottom txt:** these notes make me want to diE

**We Are All:** oh

**large assh:** fine i wont bother your studying anymore u studying hoe……… you saucy minx…… damn u feisty

**bottom txt:** ????????????

**bottom txt:** WHAT IS GOIGN ON

**We Are All:** [91900292.png](//)

**large assh:** is that a dic pic

**We Are All:** o my god no

**large assh:** send dic pic??

**bottom txt:** [dickthis.png](//)

**We Are All:** thank you, pidge

**large assh:** aww love u too babe

**bottom txt:** <3

**aua (uwu):** i just got out of class i hope ur not doing anything lance bc i want to talk about this

**large assh:** talk bout what

**aua (uwu):** Fuck you. Stop excluding people just because you cant accept a loving relationship when it conflicts with your own precious kylarry (abusive.) I hope you realize just how horrible you are being. Creating a chat to complain about shippers you should be ashamed. You need to calm down

**large assh:** i want that tattooed on my ass honestly

**aua (uwu):** honestly? ill pay if you do it

**large assh:** have i ever mentioned how much i love u???

**aua (uwu):** not enough times………. so will u do it?

**large assh:** tempting, but no

**aua (uwu):** Fuck you. Stop excluding people just because you cant accept a tattoo when it conflicts with your own precious ass (abusive.) I hope you realize just how horrible you are being. Creating a chat to complain about looks you should be ashamed. You need to calm down

**large assh:** KADJASDAJKSDHAKSJDHASKJDHAKJ

**large assh:** ALLURA PLEAS

**ko:** damn i must’ve missed a lot

**ko:** you should be ashamed. You need to calm down

**large assh:** yYOU DONT EVEN KNOW THE CONTEXT EKITH!!! STOP TURNING THIS INTO A MEME

**aua (uwu):** its the new copypasta

**ro:** what’s the new copypasta

**ro:** it’s not one of those overly sexual ones with a lot of emojis and innuendos, i hope?

**large assh:** sadly its not

**ko:** thankfully it’s not,

**ko:** but seriously ro scroll up and read the original it’s pretty funny… they called kylarry “abusive” i love this hellsite

**ro:** …….

**ro:** kylarry abusive? where?? in what universe???

**ro:** holy crap it’s not even abusive it’s (abusive.)

**large assh:** ffuck i posted a screenshot of the ask (bc i wanted to keep the actual thing in my inbox to treasure forever) and everyone’s just making memes out of it!!! its the next copypasta im screaming!!!

**ro:** Fuck you. Stop excluding memes just because you cant accept a meme when it conflicts with your own precious meme (abusive.) I hope you realize just how horrible you are being. Creating a chat to complain about memes you should be ashamed. You need to calm down

**large assh:** WHY ARE YOU AIMING THEM AT ME?????? ITS MY MEME???? THIS IS MEME BETRAYAL

**ko:** Fuck you. Stop excluding our use of memes just because you cant accept these sick burns when it conflicts with your own precious feelings (abusive.) I hope you realize just how horrible you are being. Creating a chat to complain about original copypastas you should be ashamed. You need to calm down

**large assh:** iMF UCIGN DELETING MYSELF!!!!!!!!!!!! BYE

 

[ro&ko chat] 

**ko:** imagine if lance actually deleted his tumblr

**ko:** that’d be such a shame……… all those selfies, gone,

**ko:** there’s nothing quite like a lance mcclain selfie

**ko:** i don’t think i’d ever recover from the loss

**ro:** sometimes i think i liked it better when i didn’t know abt your crush on lance

**ro:** and i didn’t get all these Pining Texts of yours

**ro:** i don’t want you to take that the wrong way!! i’m just saying that bc it’s so frustrating,, getting all your texts about lance and dating and dating lance when you won’t even take my advice!

**ko:** 1) ur spending too much time around allura. stop doing that random capitalizing thing it’s allura’s thing

**ko:** and 2) your advice was garbage!! you told me to “tell him how i feel”!!!! like what kinda fuckshit

**ro:** you’re not allowed to call my advice fuckshit i’m the older brother thus my advice is automatically Brilliant

**ko:** why don’t you take your own advice and just ask allura out then

**ro:** blocked

**ko:** rO you can’t block me every time i bring up allura!!

**ko:** i can’t believe people think you’re the mature one, honestly

**ko:** o fuck remember that time in high school when i just texted a few winky faces to that guy and he caught my vibe and asked me out

**ko:** i mean, he first asked my study buddy if he should ask me out, leaving her mostly confused but happy for us

**ko:** but i did end up getting asked out

**ko:** should i try that with lance

**ko:** like that kim kardashian meme where she says she’s dropping hints but isn’t dropping hints

**ko:** except i’m actually dropping hints

**ko:** ok i get it you’ve blocked me haha can you respond now i need to know if it’s a bad idea

**ko:** if u don’t respond i’m gonna do it,

**ko:** guess i’m doing it

 

[main chat] 

**ko:** tbh i’m surprised lance went a whole 3 hours without posting on tumblr after that last text

**aua (uwu):** damn really??

**ko:** yeah.. i figured i’d keep the group chat updated bc half of us are currently at work

**ko:** also where’s ro he’s not answering my texts

**aua (uwu):** keef you literally answered ur own question a text ago

**aua (uwu):** “currently at work” ring any bells??

**ko:** hey hey no need to text in that tone of voice

**aua (uwu):** u better Watch urself…… or else u gonna catch these hands

**ko:** are u sure you don’t want shiro to “catch your hands” instead

**ko:** ;)

**large assh:** haha good one keith

**ko:** remember when lance deleted himself and died?? i think his ghost has come back to haunt us… it’s almost like i can feel his presence…………..

**large assh:** you know what i take that back

**large assh:** fukc you

**ko:** ;)))

**large assh:** wait

**large assh:** whats that supposed to mean

**ko:** ;)))))))))))

**large assh:** no doNT JUST SEND MORE

**large assh:** TELL ME WHAT THEY MEAN

**ko:** ;)))))))))))))))))))

**large assh:** KEITH COME ON!!! WHY ARE YOU SENDING ME WINKY FACES

**ko:** :*

**large assh:** ADASKJDALSKJDLASK

**large assh:** WAS THAT THE KISSY FACE

**large assh:** KEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEITH

**aua (uwu):** Honestly You Two Are So Unbelieveable

 

[ro&ko chat] 

**ko:** dammit it’s not working

 

[main chat] 

**ko:** what’s that supposed to mean

**ko:** i’m supposed to go pick up shiro now but as soon as i get home i demand answers

**large assh:** i disappeared onto tumblr bc keith was being a stubborn butt

**large assh:** but now im back and i, too, want to know what Exactly you mean by that, allura

**large assh:** also new copypasta going around town

**large assh:** im loving the asks im getting on my sideblog lmao

**aua (uwu):** well whats the copypasta

**large assh:** You have no right whatsoever to dictate to people what they can and can not write. If people want to write ship content for larry week then they can. You have absolutely no right to tell them they can’t. Don’t like it? Don’t reblog it. It’s as simple as that. No need to ruin everybody’s fun just because you have a problem with it

**aua (uwu):** ni ce

 


	2. always boyfriend ranked no.1

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> ok first chapter kinda had a plot but now im just a MESS!! always-boyfriend is a real problem guys. good night yall
> 
> large assh: lance  
> We Are All: hunk  
> bottom txt: pidge  
> aua (uwu): allura  
> ko: keith  
> ro: shiro

 

[main chat]

**ko:** GUYS shiro just got up and LEFT

**ko:** like i literally JUST brought this man home and he has the nerve to leavE???

**aua (uwu):** did he not give a reason? did he just randomly leave u??

**ko:** ok actually it was because i said something

**large assh:** typical

**ko:** something that i cannot repeat bc of bro code

**ko:** fuck off ghostman

**large assh:** askjdaks are you still stuck on that

**ko:** i’m ignoring u

**ko:** ghosts can’t text

**ko:** plus there are bigger matters at hand

**ko:** can someone please text my brother to get the FUCK home

**ko:** and also tell him to just hear me out for five minutes??? and stop walking away every time i bring up The Thing

**ro:** will you promise to listen to my suggestions about That Other Thing?

**ko:** fucK YOU RO

**large assh:** man this is some hardcore sibling speak

**aua (uwu):** you have many siblings, lance

**aua (uwu):** can you decode what theyre saying

**large assh:** not really…… my siblings dont exactly work like this

**aua (uwu)** : then how did they work

**large assh:** they all collectively bullied me :(

 

[ro&ko chat]

**ko** : so that’s the deal then?

**ko:** we’ll both get our heads outta our asses and actually do something about our crushes

**ro:** yeah. you ready for this?

**ro:** it’d be like that movie where those two brothers need wedding dates, except there is no wedding and we just want regular dates

**ko:** i vaguely remember that movie… was it like, ‘sam and smith want wedding dates’ or something equally lame

**ro:** i think it was ‘mike and dave need wedding dates’

**ko:** whatever, ro, i don’t care for either mike or dave

 

[main chat]

**aua (uwu):** haha

**ko:** hehe

**large assh:** heres a suggestion; shut ur fuck

**aua (uwu)** : ooh, what a burn

**ko:** i don’t think i’ll ever recover

**aua (uwu):** i cant believe this is the end for us, keith

**aua (uwu):** lance the ghostman killed us

**large assh:** what did i ever do, ever, to deserve this

**aua (uwu):** lots of things boi

**ko:** what would ur last words be allura

**aua (uwu):** thats tough……………..

**aua (uwu):** probably gonna go with; “(M)oney (A)dd (Th)en (M)ultiply - I call that MATHM-Mathematics”

**ko:** damn

**ko:** i can’t top that

**ko:** i think i’d go with something simpler

**ko:** like “Everything is not what it seems”

**aua (uwu):** from the theme song of wizards of waverly place

**ko:** hell yeah

**aua (uwu):** nice

**large assh:** ya nice this was funny and all are you guys DONE

**aua (uwu):** i dont know, keith, are we done?

**ko:** ...yeah, i guess so

**ko:** only because i want to eat dinner tho

**aua (uwu):** alright, were done, lance. its dinner time

**large assh:** thank

**aua (uwu):** same time tomorrow?

**ko:** definitely

**large assh:** please no

**ko:** can someone tell shiro to come home i want dinner

**ko:** ro if you don’t get ur ass home in 10 seconds i’ll start cooking

**large assh:** lol you make it sound like a threat

**large assh:** 'im gonna start cooking’ oh noo! what a nightmare!!

**ro:** once he tried to boil an egg but it exploded

**ro:** like he forgot about it and left it on the stove for an hour and the egg goddamn exploded

**large assh:** ok that is actually a nightmare

**large assh:** all i can think of is that experiment hunk and pidge did with the maple syrup and the vinegar eggs

**aua (uwu):** that was a great experiment!!!

**ro:** i think the way the eggs exploded was basically the same

**ro:** except keith’s egg still had the shell

**large assh:** small but deadly projectiles

**ro:** exactly

**aua (uwu):** ok i kinda want to ask,, its been more than 10 seconds since keith sent that text have u made it home yet shiro?? or is keith battling with the pans and the eggs

**ro:** yeah i went to get takeout while i was out so

**ro:** made it home right before keef turned on the stove :)

**aua (uwu):** dammit i kind of wanted another egg to explode

**ro:** :(

**aua (uwu):** young man,

**aua (uwu):** theres no need to feel down

**large assh:** i said, young man, pick yourself off the ground

**aua (uwu):** i said, young man, cause youre in a new town

**ko:** there’s no need to be unhappy

**ro:** ……..it’s fun to stay at the Y.M.C.A.

**bottom txt:** shrio u skipped like a whole verse but 10/10 for participation

**ro:** uh thanks? i think?

**bottom txt:** ya thanks is the Correct response,

**large assh:** pidge!!! pidge-pidge!!! u havent been on for a while hows it goin

**bottom txt:** well

**bottom txt:** i’ve made it to rank 14

**ko:** on duelyst?

**aua (uwu):** werent you like rank 20 yesterday

**bottom txt:** yaya

**ko:** i can’t play anymore

**ko:** since ro smacked me with a spoon anytime he saw me playing

**large assh:** but didnt you lock urself in ur room and play for a week straight

**ko:** pfft

**ko:** whatever

**aua (uwu):** well at least at this rate pidge will be no.1 in no time

**bottom txt:** always-boyfriend, here i come

**ro:** “always-boyfriend” what does that mean

**aua (uwu):** we didnt tell you?

**large assh:** OH keith didnt tell u

**ko:** damn i forgot to tell you??

**ro:** those texts were sent at the exact same time that’s kind of scary

**aua (uwu):** pidge dyou want to tell the story? or should we just

**bottom txt:** yea you guys just go ahead i’m gonna eat dinner real quick

**ko:** make sure to eat something nutritional 

**bottom txt:** of course, keef

**ko:** okay real talks who the fuck is keef

**large assh:** you the fuck is keef

**bottom txt:** i had a friend named keefe in grade three…… real funny dude

**large assh:** go eat pidge before u fall asleep on the breakfast table

**aua (uwu):** BACK ON TOPIC shiro you know when we went out to that restaurant cafe thing

**ro** : it was you, lance, pidge, and keith right

**large assh:** ya

**ko:** while we were there pidge saw a 

**ko:** cryptid

**ro:** i don’t think she did

**aua (uwu):** shut up keef

**large assh:** she saw a fine honey

**ro:** a what

**aua (uwu):** you too lanc! shut up

**aua (uwu):** she saw someone from her high school

**ro:** you mean the high school she left because she got an early early acceptance into college?

**aua (uwu):** yup!

**ro:** but isn’t that place far?

**aua (uwu):** quite.. i think pidge said that she said she was just in the area

**aua (uwu):** probably visiting family or something

**aua (uwu):** that part is not important

**aua (uwu):** what IS important is that they used to be in the same classes

**aua (uwu):** and pidge may have had a lil crush on her before

**aua (uwu):** and so when pidge saw her in the restaurant/cafe hybrid

**aua (uwu):** she decided to ask her out on a date!!

**ro:** oh wow

**aua (uwu):** yeah!! pidge was all flustered but determined

**aua (uwu):** she was making that cute lil face she makes when shes psyching herself up for something

**ro:** that’s really good for her!

**ro:** i don’t understand where “always-boyfriend” came from this though

**aua (uwu):** shhH im getting there

**aua (uwu):** unfortunately for us, and for pidge, this story does not have a happy ending 

**aua (uwu):** pidge went up to her and was recognized immediately, and conversation flowed quite easily between them

**aua (uwu):** heck, she seemed to be picking up on pidge’s subtle signals asking her out on a date

**aua (uwu):** which was when she dropped the ‘i have a boyfriend’ line

**ro:** oh no

**aua (uwu):** yeah…. pidge took it like a champ, but,

**ro:** her shoulders did that little droopy thing

**aua (uwu):** yeah ://

**ro:** poor pidge

**aua (uwu):** well thats where ‘always boyfriend’ came from

**aua (uwu):** after that whole thing pidge told us abt how she tried asking out this other girl in her class

**aua (uwu):** who also dropped the boyfriend line

**aua (uwu):** she lowkey believes that shes cursed to have crushes on girls who already have boyfriends

**ro:** aw pidge, that’s not true

**bottom txt:** it’s been true so far!!!! always boyfriend, shiro!!! always boyfriend!!!!!!!

**ko:** hey pidge i’ll gladly take their boyfriend

**ro:** yeah we know that keith

**aua (uwu):** boyfriends out for keith

**ko:** non-boyfriend girlfriends out for pidge

**bottom txt:** what a pipe dream


	3. ghostman, funnyman, thirstyman

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> it still. seems all over the place to me but i have figured out a general plot, so, thats good. i'm hoping to tie this fic into a fic i planned out (and started writing) a while ago, so, lets see how that goes!! wish me luck lol
> 
> large assh: lance  
> We Are All: hunk  
> bottom txt: pidge  
> aua (uwu): allura  
> ko: keith  
> ro: shiro  
> cornman: coran

[main chat] 

**large assh:** does anyone know where hunk is

**bottom txt:** you lost hunk??

**large assh:** i didnt lose hunk!!

**large assh:** i just.. havent seen him for the whole day…….. where is hE….

**bottom txt:** doesn’t he usually tell you whenever he goes out tho

**large assh:** yea, ur point?

**bottom txt:** …

**large assh:** i. mightve. been in a fucky mood this morning i was really zoned out okay??

**bottom txt:** it’s alright lance, u did nothing wrong

**bottom txt:** i’m sure he told someone else where he was going just in case

**large assh:** right right…. um… who else would he tell

**aua (uwu):** i had a sudden urge to check the chat so hello yall

**bottom txt:** allura!! perfect timing!! do you know where hunk went lance misses him

**large assh:** i cant even deny that…...hes my sun and stars  <3

**aua (uwu):** if he were here hed call you his moon  <3

**large assh:** thank yOU

**aua (uwu):** but yeah i actually do know where he is

**aua (uwu):** yall might want to take a seat

**bottom txt:** ok i’m sittin

**large assh:** me too

**large assh:** do ur best

**aua (uwu):** remember that musical production our local shelter is putting on?

**aua (uwu):** and how shay mentioned that she might help out with painting backgrounds and costumes and stuff??

**aua (uwu):** so hunk decided to volunteer too! as a surprise!! altho hes working on more technical stuff

**large assh:** AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAA

**large assh:** IM SO PROUD OF OUR HUNK

**large assh:** HUNK THE GUY

**large assh:** HUNK THE MAN

**large assh:** HUNK THE HUNK

**bottom txt:** so that’s why he was so nervous yesterday

**bottom txt:** i was like ???? why u sweating bud we’re just talking about LED lights in dresses but

**bottom txt:** it alllll makes sense nowww

**large assh:** wait, why led lights in dresses

**aua (uwu):** maybe its a thing with the costumes!!!! maybe he and shay will have to work together a lot after all

**large assh:** nicE

**aua (uwu):** thats not even the best part

**aua (uwu):** its like- a few months long project

**aua (uwu):** where the actors, the orchestra, and everyone else putting it together all have to meet once or twice a week

**aua (uwu):** and i think crew members get weekends, so,

**large assh:** hunk has a date every weekend?????????

**aua (uwu):** yea pretty much!!!

**large assh:** NICE

**bottom txt:** i have, like, a montage of moments with hunk and shay playing in my head; when they first met, when they went on that not-quite-date, when they played air hockey for almost 5 hours straight

**bottom txt:** i’m so glad he’s conquering his fears and going for her!! even if it’s in his own, subtle way

**bottom txt:** he’s doing that!!

**aua (uwu):** yeah… unlike some people…

**large assh:** r u trying to vague about me

**large assh:** the same thing can be said for you hun

**bottom txt:** i’m just- gonna go play duelyst for a bit

**ro:** who’s vagueing in the group chat

**ro:** c’mon, guys, we promised to keep the vagueing on twitter

**aua (uwu):** haha right of course

**aua (uwu):** we werent vagueing at all

**aua (uwu):** just talking abt hunk and shay!!

**aua (uwu):** shut up lance

**ro:** ...but lance didn’t even say anything

**aua (uwu):** he was about to

**ro:** considering you have quite the sixth sense, i’ll take your word for it

**aua (uwu):** aha thank you :-)

**ro:** :)

**ko:** what did i miss

  


[ro&ko chat] 

**ko:** i have that screenshotted by the way

**ko:** bet ur gonna write about it in ur diary

**ko:** “dear diary, 

**ko:** the date is october 16th, 2016, and allura said, “aha thank you” accompanied with a smiley face (with a small dash as a nose) and oh wow she is really cute and i would like to run my hands through her soft silvery hair and hold her hand and maybe kiss her face like once or twice or a billion times.

**ko:** sincerely, shiro”

  


[main chat] 

**ro:** WHY ARE YOU LIKE THIS

**large assh:** um

**ro:** oh shit

**ro:** that was just a typo

**ro:** i meant to say “you didn’t miss much, keith”

**large assh:** suuure you did

**ko:** holy crap this is too funny

**ko:** shiro you funnyman

**ro:** i hate u ://

  


[ro&ko chat] 

**ro:** AJSDASJDKH YOU ALMOST EXPOSED ME

**ko:** correction* you almost exposed yourseLF

**ko:** IM STILL LAUGHIGN OVER IT

**ro:** i know :// i can hear ur laughter coming from the bathroom

**ro:** are you sitting in the bathtub again

**ko:** ya it’s calming

**ro:** i was going to bring you a blanket but i can hear your giggles so no blanket for u

**ko:** no!!! i want a blanket i promise i’ll stop laughing

**ro:** I CAN HEAR YOUR SNORTS THROUGH THE DOOR!!

**ro:** NOW YOU’RE FULL OUT LAUGHING AGAIN STOP IT!! STOP LAUGHING AT ME!!!

**ro:** i know i told you i wouldn’t block you anymore but that was only if you bring up allura but i have every right to block you now

**ko:** kajdkaskjshdajksh shior dont blokc me!!

**ro:** blocked

  


[main chat] 

**large assh:** keith why do you do that

**ko:** do what

**large assh:** add -man to the end of a word and turn it into a nickname

**ko:** idk i just like giving nicknames but i’m too lazy to put much thought into it

**large assh:** that’s quite….. interesting

**large assh:** also you know that moment when ur really thirsty and u drink a water and it tastes like the heavens opened up and god poured that water just for u

**ko:** and yeah giving/receiving nicknames make me feel warm and fuzzy inside

**large assh:** ajdhasjkdhaksjdhas seriously??

**large assh:** was that a Joke?

**ko:** no i’m being serious!! i’m fond of nicknames  >> one of the reasons why i call shiro ‘ro’

**ko:** and a response to ur earlier text; i’m always thirsty

**large assh:** kjdaksdkasd thats so cute

**large assh:** wait you ruined the moment

**large assh:** your nickname is now thirstyman

  


[ro&ko chat] 

**ko:** RO HE CALLED ME CUTE

**ko:** BUT I RUINED THE MOMENT

**ko:** I HATE MYSELF AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAA

**ro:** i can’t even make fun of you because i did not see that coming

**ro:** but at least this proves that your feelings are mutual

**ko:** not really

**ko:** being called cute is just baby level stuff

**ko:** i need to get to the level higher than wherever hunk is

**ko:** that’s the level where ‘i want to date you’ flirting happens

**ro:** but he keyboard smashed? doesn’t he do that only when trying to express extreme happiness, speechlessness, or flustered-ness

**ko:** ...you’ve got a point there

**ko:** but that doesn’t mean i can just ask him out bc he called me cute

  


[main chat] 

**ko:** yes thank you for acknowledging my thirstyness

**ko:** i am thirstyman in my thirsty can

**ko:** while you are ghostman hanging out in the upside down

**large assh:** sometimes i just, dont get you

**ko:** good

**ko:** quick question; would you say yes to someone who asks u out after just talking to them a few times

**large assh:** odd question

**large assh:** but idk… i’d prefer if there was some flirty foreplay yaknow ;))

**large assh:** and i’d like to get to know them well as a friend before anything else i guess

**ko:** cool thanks

**large assh:** whyd you ask anyway

**ko:** odd question… can’t answer…

**large assh:** why do i even try sometimes

  


[ro&ko chat] 

**ro:** i’m guessing there was a point to that?

**ko:** yes!! as lance clearly stated, he needs “flirty foreplay”

**ro:** but he also said he’d like to get to know them well as a friend

**ro:** i think he knows you pretty well as a friend

**ko:** not! enough! flirty! foreplay!

**ko:** do noT groan loudly in disappointment @me

**ko:** i may be sitting in the bathtub but that doesn’t mean that my ears don’t work

  


[main chat]

**ko:** someone pls tell shiro to stop groaning in disappointment

**large assh:** idk what u did but u probably deserve it so, no

**ko:** rude?

**large assh:** build a bridge and get over it

**ko:** i’m so offended?? and you were just calling me cute a few minutes ago… to think that we had something

**large assh:** “to think that we had something”   w hat

**ko:** ;)

**large assh:** NOT THIS AGAIN

**We Are All:** hey guys!!

**We Are All:** i found the perfect meme

**We Are All:**  [saxophoneman.png](https://66.media.tumblr.com/630b223e90f8e474493e2917a954f0bd/tumblr_n33tzrGNJI1qcyq7ao1_1280.jpg) @ matt our local musician 

**ko:** you mean matt the jazzman

**large assh:** shut up, thirstyman

**large assh:** hey hunk, guess what time it is

**We Are All:** uhh… almost bedtime?

**large assh:** no hunk

**large assh:** we dont have bedtimes anyway

**large assh:** but its ‘interrogate hunk about his date’ time!!!

**We Are All:** i don’t like this time

**large assh:** either u can tell the group chat now or ill weasel the info out of u once you get home and tell everyone tomorrow

**ko:** and we all know how lance tells stories

**We Are All:** guess i’ll just turn off my phone and never go home

**We Are All:** it was nice knowing you guys

**ko:** dammit, hunk’s pulling a shiro

**large assh:** dont worry, he has to come home eventually

**ko:** actually, he doesn’t

**large assh:** shut uP keef

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> hmu on tumblr @kthkng


	4. bad days and past mistakes

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> so there are a lot of things i talk abt here that probably don't make sense— i have this whole backstory for this series that's... more planned out that the fics themselves as of now, rip. if u do want anything to be clarified don't be afraid to ask!! u can drop a comment here or just hmu on tumblr (@kthkng)!! (also; next chapter will be normal fic style bc of the call!!!)
> 
> large assh: lance  
> We Are All: hunk  
> bottom txt: pidge  
> aua (uwu): allura  
> ko: keith  
> ro: shiro  
> cornman: coran

 

[main chat]

**ko:** today was a Bad Day

**bottom txt:** definitely a Bad Day

**aua (uwu):** yea… today was

**ro:** pretty funky?

**large assh:** it was a Bad Day

**large assh:** wait wheres hunk

**large assh:** i hope hes having a good day

**bottom txt:** don’t you live with him??

**bottom txt:** you should kindof… know where he is??

**bottom txt:** this is exactly why i don’t want to stay in a dorm

**bottom txt:** like i’m lowkey convinced that ALTHO you and hunk share a dorm, ur both living on alternate planes of reality, which is only noticeable in ur room

**ko:** so that’s why they can see and interact with each other, but when they enter their dorm, they just. never see the other??

**bottom txt:** exactly

**bottom txt:** i don’t trust dorms

**ro:** well that’s why you hunk and lance will be rooming in my apartment

**ko:** and u get to stay with ma again…

**ro:** you can come home too you know

**ko:** no i got a single dorm and i’m keeping it

**ko:** also it’s *our apartment

**ro:** shut up keef only my name’s on the papers

**ko:** hey fuck u

**aua (uwu):** HEY LANCE hunk is at home for the weekend remember

**aua (uwu):** i couldnt remember if it was this weekend or next weekend so it took me a while to check the calendar

**aua (uwu):** but yea hes home. chilling. with his mums

**large assh:** thank u for reminding me!!! thats good tho its almost impossible to have a Bad Day with hunks mums theyre the bestest

**bottom txt:** i agree… i mean don’t get me wrong i love love love my parents but hunk’s mums?? they’re, like, wow

**ko:** ya i love them too

**aua (uwu):** ok but keith u love any parent/parental figure if they like u first

**ko:** guessed i developed a complex after spending like 10 years being adopted by “parents” who didn’t really like me ://

**ko:** ok everyone’s been typing for 5 minutes but no one’s actually responded i can feel y’alls need to apologize or whatever

**ko:** it wasn’t that bad i promise!! pleas i need to make jokes nd make light of these things it’s just The Way I Am

**aua (uwu):** like that time u and shiro went missing for a month or so nd to let us know that u guys were back safe nd sound u sent a meme to the group chat???

**large assh:** what about that time u got lowkey arrested??? we dont even know the full story just a pic of handcuffs dangling from ur fingers in front of the precinct and a ‘lol wild night’

**ro:** or when we found out dad died and WHILE we were hugging on the floor crying, you sent another meme to the group chat

**ko:** i don’t recall any of this???

**ko:** did i really get arrested????? wtf??? when????

**aua (uwu):** actually i was with u for that one. we both got arrested

**large assh:** wow????

**ko:** how come it’s not on our records then

**ko:** if i kept the handcuffs then where are they

**ko:** wtf allura please fill me in i’m so confused rn

**ro:** wait… this was like, a bit more than a year ago right

**ro:** i vaguely recall keith coming home one night p fucking wasted, mumbling about the cops and his conspiracy theories

**ro:** he did say something about getting arrested but 1) there was no proof and 2) i was kinda more worried about getting him to his bed without waking up the whole house

**large assh:** according to my calculations tht means this event happened

**large assh:** the summer right after our grad??

**large assh:** how come i only knew that you were back during our first year of uni

**large assh:** and technically its only hunk and my grad bc SOMEBODY (keef) was supposed to graduate with us but “transferred schools”

**ko:** don’t put it in quotation marks?? it’s the truth??

**ko:** are you still bitter that i wasn’t there to spend senior year with you guys

**large assh:** and apparently you were here like 3 months before i knew

**ko:** i told you that i had my reasons

**large assh:** it was a whole year, keith! without a word from you!!

**large assh:** you couldve sent a ‘hey’ or an ‘im fine’ or even a fucking weather report!!!

 

[cryptid crew chat]

**bottom txt:** dude

**bottom txt:** you didn’t text him at all while u were gone??

**bottom txt: ...** i’m guessing he doesn’t know that you kept in contact with the rest of us?

**ko:** i know i fucked up

**ko:** but back then i had my reasons, and even though now i realize i might’ve been a bit too extreme

**ko:** i can’t exactly go back in time to fix things

**bottom txt:** the least you can do is tell him EVERYTHING now

**bottom txt:** if he finds out somehow other than you, and trust me, he will eventually find out

**bottom txt:** it’ll put you in deeper shit

**ko:** fine. i might tell him

**bottom txt:** “might” ???

**ko:** i lose either way, pidge. let me choose my demise

**bottom txt:** don’t be an asshole, keith. you did something you regret, and that’s what lead you into this in the first place. don’t fuck it up more by doing something you’ll again end up regretting

 

[main chat]

**ko:** i’m sorry, lance

**large assh:** i ordered an apology with a side of ‘explain’

**large assh:** where’s the rest of it

**large assh:** why am i the only one pissed about it

**large assh:** aren’t you guys angry that keith went MIA for a whole year??

**ko:** please calm down, lance

**large assh:** next thing i know you guys are gonna tell me that he actually kept in touch with y’all this whole time!! it was just me he was ignoring!!!!! i feel so fucking special

 

[ro&ko chat]

**ro:** i thought you said you dealt with this

**ro:** you told me, word for word, “as soon as uni starts and if he still wants to talk to me, i’ll tell him everything”

**ro:** and he looked so happy to see you, keith. he wouldn’t leave your side for a week. i thought you told him everything.

**ro:** now he’ll just think that you don’t trust him

**ko:** i know!!! fucking hell i know!! i know i know i know

**ko:** he’ll hate me after this

**ro:** and he hated you for a bit when you transferred schools without giving them a reason, but he got over it

**ko:** that doesn’t mean he’ll get over it again, shiro. i don’t want him to hate me

**ro:** you can’t use your crush as an excuse. you owe it to him, as a friend

**ko:** fuck

 

[main chat]

**ko:** lance

**ko:** some shitty things in the past that i regret doing are now coming to light

**ko:** and i know you’re really pissed at me right now

**ko:** but can i explain why to you?

**large assh:** well i did want an explanation

**large assh:** but i dont want to see you right now

**large assh:** and i am really fucking pissed

**ko:** that’s fine

**ko:** just pick up the phone

**ko:** and don’t hang up until i fully explain everything

**large assh:** fine

**ko:** promise you’ll hear me out?

**large assh:** …

**large assh:** fine

**large assh:** but answer me this; you kept in contact with everyone else, didnt you? thats why theyre not saying anything

**ko:** yeah

**large assh:** fuck

**large assh:** i hate you

**ko:** i know

**Author's Note:**

> hmu on tumblr @kthkng


End file.
